3 Tips for Dealing with Mixed Signals That Women Send Out
Let’s talk about mixed signals – because, let’s be honest – we need to talk about them.
You get them all the time, right? She sends a text, then she ignores everything that she sends you for a month.
You go on a date, and then she’s busy with other plans for weeks – until she gets mad that you don’t call anymore.
These signals are the bane of the dating world, and they’re the hardest thing in the world for guys to deal with.
After all, you’ve got to walk a fine line between being interested and not coming on too strong – and if you fail, you’re going to go from mixed signals to no signals at all.
If you want to be successful in your dating adventures, you’ve got to learn how to take those signals to heart and do something productive with them.
Just Calm Down, Okay?
It’s pretty easy to get up in arms when a girl can’t make up her mind. The more frustrated you get, the more she likes it – but the less she’ll like seeing it.
Mixed signals are the ultimate Catch-22, because there’s really no way out of the situation that makes you a winner. So what do you do? You just don’t participate. It’s as easy as that.
It sounds like caveman advice, but the best way to get the attention of a woman who is keeping you stringed along is to stop playing her games.
If you seem like you are desperate for her attention, you will be putting absolutely all of the power in the relationship into her hands.
This doesn’t mean that you have to be a jerk, though – you’ve just got to be calm and rational about things.
If she doesn’t return your calls or texts, don’t blow up her phone – just forget about it and go on with your life.
If she cancels a date, tell her that’s fine and that you can go hang out with other people.
You want to seem like you’re interested, sure, but not like your entire life depends on what she decides to do.
Yes, Hard to Get is a Thing
It’d seem like today’s age of liberated women and quick-service dating would mean that things are pretty straightforward, but the reality of it all is that playing hard to get really is just a thing that women still do.
Some of this is because of society – women are trained not to seem like they are too eager, usually for fear that men won’t take them seriously.
Some of it is also a power thing, because everyone likes to feel like they have the upper hand in the relationship.
What you have to do is figure out what constitutes playing hard to get, and what constitutes stringing you along.
No girl’s worth the trouble of chasing forever, so figure out a time frame that you think is reasonable. Have you been out on a half-dozen dates and the game’s still going?
It’s probably time to look for someone else. Are you still in the process of the chase, and she’s showing interest without really asking much of you in return? The hunt’s still on, so stay the course.
It’s your job to figure out what constitutes too much effort for your returns.
Go Back To Middle School
Okay, sure. Sometimes, you really do need to figure out what’s going on in your dating life. Sometimes, you just can’t come right out and ask her what is going on.
Sometimes, you’ve got to go back into the old playbook and look at your school days. Yes, it’s time to do the unthinkable – get a buddy involved.
As a note, this only works if you have mutual friends.
You really can’t expect someone who knows only one of you to help out, because there’s a loyalty conflict there (also, it’s incredibly creepy).
Your goal is to find someone who cares about both of you to become an intermediary, to offer you some information about what’s going on and how you should proceed.
Your friend can be a valuable source of information. Let him or her know about your interest, and that you’re frustrated with what’s going on.
If you’re lucky, he or she has already heard about it from the lady in question and can give you all the information necessary about what’s really going on.
This is a great way to save some time, especially if your friend knows that the girl is just flirting for the fun of it.
If the information’s not there, though, your friend can find out for you without making you sound like a complete creep – it’s amazing what a little bit of work can do for you.
Again, this is a strategy that can only be used with mutual friends.
For the safety of your reputation and any self-respect that you might have, don’t go crying to her friends unless you already know them.
That’s a great way for the girl in question to find out that you’re a clingy weirdo, and an amazing way to make sure that you’re the subject of mockery in her group for years to come.
If you’re not already friends with her friends, you’re just going to have to do things the hard way and wait it out.
So, yes – you can find ways to get around the mixed signals. You can play it cool, you can realize what the situation is like from her side and you can always go ask a friend what to do.
Mixed Signals Aren’t the End of the World
The biggest thing to remember, though, is that you’re not the first guy to go through this and that you will certainly not be the last.
This situation isn’t about you, it’s about her – so suck it up, make a decision about what you want in your life and make the choice that works for you.
You can’t hang around forever, so figure out if the mixed signals are worth your time.
Share your mixed-feelings story in the comment box below and let me know how you are doing!