5 First Date Mistakes You Should Avoid
Lots of guys think that once she agrees to go on a date, all the hard work is done. Wrong! This is where it gets tough – and here’s the first date mistakes you should avoid.
When she agrees to go out with you, she is only looking for an opportunity to size you up. If you don’t match up, you’re out, simple as that.
I know, because I’ve had to learn that the hard way. I could never understand how some guys always seemed to have a pretty woman on their arms, so I decided to ask some of them what the secret was. What I learned really surprised me. It also made me realize what a dork I’d been.
In fact, I still blush when I think of some of the things I said and did on first dates. Now that I know the right way to handle first dates, I want to help you avoid making the same first date mistakes I did.
1) Picking the wrong location
I’ll bet that you think the best way to win her over is to take her out to a nice restaurant. That’s what I always thought. When she saw I had such good taste and was willing to spend a lot of cash to entertain her, she was bound to fall for my charms.
But that never, ever worked. All I ever got was a “thank you for a lovely evening” and “I’ll probably see you around.” In other words, the big brush off.
The problem with going to a restaurant for a first date is that it is too formal. You sit there opposite each other like you are at a job interview. You have to speak quietly if you don’t want the whole restaurant to hear you.
Since you probably don’t know anything about your date, making conversation can be tricky enough without having to worry about the people around you.
You will make much more progress in getting to know her if you take her to a less formal venue. Believe it or not, asking her to come with you to help you choose some new clothes works better than treating her to a fantastic meal.
Here are a few ideas that you can use to get your wheels turning for first date ideas. Do an activity or go to a location that invokes fun and excitement! The feelings she has here will be associated with you.
2) Try to be relaxed
Just like a restaurant is too formal for a first date, make sure you are not personally too formal.
You have probably read loads of tips on winning your girl, and one of the most common ones is to show an interest in her and her life. Doing this is fine, but you don’t want to do it as a form of interrogation.
Instead of coming across like you’re practicing for some kind of 20 questions routine, try to get the information from her in a pleasant and relaxed conversation.
When she tells you something, such as her favorite color, do not move straight on to your next question. Instead, have a conversation about her favorite color.
What are the things you like in that color, for example. Try to make it less of an interview and be fun/playful. When you run out of things to say, lean on your next question. A great list is here.
Try to keep the conversation moving along in an easygoing fashion. Another thing to remember is to keep your sense of humor.
That means not taking everything she says like it is some kind of major insight into the world we live in. If you see the opportunity to poke some gentle fun, you should take it.
3) Leave your ego at home
Have you ever noticed that the most successful people rarely brag about their achievements. Sure, they are willing to talk about them, but only when other people bring the matter up first.
It does not matter how successful you are in any field, if you start bragging and boasting about your successes, you will just sound like a pompous ass.
Instead of impressing people, including the lovely lady you are with on a first date, you will just alienate them.
Girls will respond much more positively to your achievements if they hear about them from somebody else, or they naturally come out. Think about this as an example.
Suppose you played quarterback for your college team, and every football fan knows that you almost single-handedly won the main trophy for your team last year.
You can sit down on your first date and tell the girl you fancy about how important you were during that season.
Alternatively, you could take her to a campus coffee shop where she sees newspaper clippings and photos of you all over the walls, and you have said nothing to her about this.
Which way of finding out about your football achievements do you think she will be most impressed with? This is obviously an exaggerated example, but look for ways to make your achievements come out naturally.
4) Keep the conversation light
A first date is not the time to tell the girl you are with how you are going to change the world. It is a social occasion, and you should behave like you would on all social occasions.
That is, you are out to have a good time, and contribute to others (in this case, to just one other) also having a good time. Don’t ever talk about things like your ex girlfriend, politics, or any other heavy handed subject.
Your goal here is to be fun and entertaining and these are not the topics to accomplish that.
5) Be diplomatic
You are probably congratulating yourself because the girl of your dreams has agreed to go on a date with you. Just an hour into the date, you are regretting asking her out.
Yes, she’s a great looker, but the minute she opens her mouth the rubbish she comes out with makes you cringe. You know you will never ask her out again.
The worst thing you can do is be offensive to her, or let her see that you feel you have made a huge mistake.
Try to stay pleasant all the way through to the end of the date, and then just part company with no plans for another date.
Girls talk about dates much more than men do, and what they say gets passed around to a much wider audience.
You do not want her to be telling everybody what an a**hole you were on your date. That can make it a lot harder for you to get more dates.
Finally, don’t take your first date too seriously. That improves your chances of scoring. It also means you will not be too disappointed if it all goes wrong.