If you have been out on the scene, trying to pick up girls, you may have heard the phrase, “I have a boyfriend“, more than once. When most men hear this phrase, they immediately retreat. Most men take this as a form of rejection, and their confidence is shattered. Some men feel that they would be just wasting their time with a woman who is already in a relationship, and some feel guilty trying to hit on another man’s girlfriend. What most men do not realize, is that there are a few true reasons that a woman will tell them that they already have a boyfriend.
1. She wants you to know that if you are going to continue trying to pick her up, you should do so with some discretion.
2. She is attracted to you, and wants to stop the conversation immediately because of it.
3. She just wants you to go away.
A Simple Conversation is Allowed
Most attractive women are involved with a man. For some, it is not serious, for others it is very serious. Either way, when you meet a woman, you are being judged against that guy right from the start. Just because a woman says that she has a boyfriend, it does not mean that you cannot talk to her. It does not mean that you are trying to steal her from someone else. Two consenting adults are allowed to have a conversation. When she tells you that she has a boyfriend, you cannot be sure that she is happy in her relationship, of that she is really in one.
What are You Doing Wrong?
If you go up to a woman and start a conversation, and the first thing that comes out of her mouth is “I have a boyfriend“, chances are she does not, and she is trying to get rid of you. You may think that she is just being snotty, however, that is not always the reason. It could be something that you did. You may have come on too strong when you first approached her. If you approached her using a sexual innuendo, chances are, that is why she told you that she has a boyfriend. Even something as immediately offering to buy her a drink can be a turn off, causing her to search for a reason to get rid of you.
How Should You React When She Tells You that She’s Taken?
When a girl tells you very early on in the conversation that she has a boyfriend, you have two options.
1. Make a friendly exit: If you are not secure in your game, your best option is to make a friendly exit. At this point, she has her guard up, even if she doesn’t actually have a boyfriend. Your ego may want you to stick around and try to win her over, however, if you are not confident, chances are it will not work. Your best bet is to cut your losses. There are likely plenty of other women around that may be easier to approach, and may be more accepting of a conversation with you.
2. Attempt to build attraction: If you are a very confident person, and are able to project your confidence, you can stick around, and try to win her over. After she tells you that she has a boyfriend, you can come up with a funny and cocky line, such as, “I won’t hold that against you“. Another good one is “That’s cool, I have a girlfriend” and continue the conversation without skipping a beat. Be sure not to mention her boyfriend again for the rest of the evening.
Spend the time that you have showing her who you are. Let her see your confidence and humor. Bringing up her boyfriend over and over again will show her that you are not as easy going and confident as you want her to believe that you are. If later on in the conversation, she mentions the fact that she has a boyfriend again, she could be doing so to control the attraction that she is feeling toward you.
At this point, don’t give up. She may want to see if she can throw you off your game. The boyfriend line is a tried and true shittest. Ignore her comment, and slow down the escalation of things for a few minutes, then amp it up again, and see how she reacts. If later in the night, she mentions having a boyfriend again, she could be letting you know that you should be using more discretion. She could have a boyfriend, or she is trying to let you know that she does not want anything serious from you. She could be implying that she wants to have some fun, with no strings attached. If things are going well, let her know that it does not bother you, and proceed as you were.
Reasons Not to Give Up
If you do not want to be a home wrecker, and compete with another man for this woman’s attention, you should not give up right away. There are a few benefits of sticking it out for a while.
1. Other women: If you walk away from the woman too soon, other women will see this, and see that you were shot down. This does not reflect well on you. You should stick around for a bit, so that you have a chance with other women after you walk away.
2. Her friends: If you got along well with her, chances are you will get along with her friends as well. Having a conversation which leads to a friendship will allow you to get into her social scene, giving you a chance with her friends.
3. Facebook: If you feel that you had a connection, you can try to plant some seeds through Facebook, and see if something can happen over time. Sending her messages through Facebook will give her a chance to see who you are outside of the bar. If she doesn’t have a boyfriend, you still may have a shot. If she does, you will be able to keep up with their relationship status, giving you the chance to swoop in if her statuses show that things are not working out.
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