As many of us are home for the holidays and away from our love interests, I thought this was a great time to revisit the subject of texting. Texting should be done sparingly for a number of reasons – You look to needy and readily available when you text to much. To lure a girl you need to be just out of reach – once the mystery is unraveled and she has you for good, she will undoubtedly loose some interest (same for guys!). How much texting do you think James Bond is doing? Do you think he would be texting his girl non-stop? A little extreme, but ere are some easy mistakes to avoid!
#1 Bearing Your Soul in a Text Message
If you really like a girl, you may feel the need to tell her exactly how you feel over text. You may be tempted to tell her that she is the only girl for you, that you think about her constantly, and that you want her to be your girlfriend. You may think that if she knew all this, she will want to be your girlfriend. Whether or not this is true, DONT DO IT OVER TEXT!
As soon as you confess your feeling in a text message, you are leaving her nothing to work for. As soon as you make it easy, she may lose interest. The best thing that you can do, is keep your texts playful. You can flirt, compliment her, and hint that she may be the girl for you, but never say it right out. You can save the declarations of your feelings for a time when you are together, and you believe that she is ready to be your girlfriend.
#2 Sending the “Needy, Nice Guy Texts”
The old adage, nice guys finish last, is more true that you may think. If you are sending a girl, “needy, nice guy texts”, you will turn her off. If you try too hard, a girl may think that there is something wrong with you. Many guys will send a girl, boring, “checking-in” texts, such as “I hope your day is going well“, “enjoy your weekend“, and “have fun tonight“. These will very likely annoy her. No girl wants a guy who is too needy, and this is what these text messages tell her.
#3 Being too Available
When you make yourself too available to a girl, it can be a huge turn off. Girls like a little bit of mystery, and a little bit of a challenge. If you are constantly texting her, you are not giving her a chance to miss you. If you are too available, you may begin to value you less. You should let her text you first once in a while. Also, when she does text you, you do not need to answer back immediately. Waiting a little while will make her anticipate your response more, keeping her on her toes. How much texting do you think James Bond does? Well, WWJBD is your new rule of thumb.
#4 Texting Only to Become Her Texting Buddy
When you are texting a girl, and become her texting buddy, you usually cannot come back from that. Most guys think that the more they text back and forth with a girl, the more she will get to know them, and the more she will like them. While she will begin to like you more, it will likely be just as a friend. If you are texting a girl for months, and she never wants to meet up with you, she likely never will. It is important to let your intentions be known, without coming off too sappy or too needy. The way to do this is keeping your texts centered around meeting up. When you first get a girls number, make plans to meet within a week. Period. Continuing to text after you set up plans only ruins your chances of meeting up with her! Text her again to confirm plans the day before or the day of and leave it at that!
#5 Obsessively Texting
Nobody likes to be texted constantly – it is a HUGE turnoff to girls. She may start to think that you are too needy, or that you do not have a life of your own. For her, the chase is over when you text too much. It is a good idea to let her text first. If you text her, and she does not respond, do not keep texting until she does. If you keep texting, asking why she isn’t texting you back, or asking if she is mad at you, she will quickly get annoyed, and you could have ruined your chances with her. NEVER send angry texts. For all you know, her phone was dead, she could have left it in the car, or maybe she is sleeping. Wait for her to text you back. If you don’t you could end up ruining any chance that you had with her. The best thing to do in this situation, is be patient. When she is ready, she’ll text you. If she doesn’t, why would you want to be with someone that’s not going to text you back anyway???
I hope you’ve found this post useful. There’s a great product that goes more in-depth about texting and it’s pretty good if you want to take your text game to the next level. You can learn more about it here.