There are many people that are quick to give advice about dating, but most fail to recognize the key to achieving success–it all begins with how to keep a conversation going with a girl.
Social skills, in most cases, have to be learned. For some, they come naturally, and they clearly demonstrate self-confidence, opening doors that, for others, remain closed, be it in their professional or personal lives. That’s why it’s imperative to learn how to talk to a girl.
Those with the natural social skills don’t have trouble meeting girls, nor do they have trouble taking it to the next level.
Along with the ability to speak in an assertive tone, a guy also needs to understand that body language also demonstrates self-confidence, or lack thereof. It’s important to approach a girl without looking nervous. Meeting girls can be very stressful, considering you don’t know what kind of reaction you’ll get.
Take a deep breath and envision yourself walking over to her. You should know what to do with your hands so that you look natural, before the approach. The last thing you’d want to do is direct her attention to your nervousness, like rubbing your hands or scratching your head.
Be casual when you introduce yourself, although it’s best to have something planned as an opening line. A simple introduction with just your name and your hand extended is often enough. From there, it’s about using your skills to converse naturally with her. An easy way to go about this is to have some topics in mind to ensure she’s also interested in the conversation.
Find popular topics to study that interest you so that the conversation will flow naturally. You don’t need to rehearse them to the point that you’re scripting the entire conversation, but instead be well-versed in those topics.
Reaching the point of silence may create some awkwardness for both of you, so the best ways to keep a conversation going involve having a wide range of topics open for discussion. At first, you may not achieve the desired success, but practice makes perfect, and you will eventually reach the point where it will flow naturally.
Even if you really click, you’ll still need to know how to keep a conversation going with a girl, so that it never seems forced.
Pay attention to where the conversation is heading. If you listen hard enough, she will drop hints by leading the conversation in a different direction or sticking with it. Take notice of these hints and go with the flow. If you aren’t listening, then you will miss these hints and likely, the opportunity to take this to the next level.
The art of conversing is actually a two-way street, so it may require some practice on your part to keep it flowing naturally. If you’re paying too much attention to what’s going on inside your head, then you really aren’t listening. When you truly listen, then the natural back-and-forth conversation occurs, and when she makes a comment, you can actually respond.
To successfully keep this conversation going, and for it to remain interesting, you need to ask questions. Keep in mind that you should always try to ask open ended questions, which are those that can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” Remain on topic by asking questions that are relevant to the particular topic.
Your input can come from your own experiences or opinion, as this will balance out the conversation.
Avoid continuously switching topics, as this will seem forced, and may seem as though you’re just grasping at straws to keep it going. Eventually, a topic of conversation will come to an end, but small talk can fill in the gaps. Comment on what’s going on around you, either as a statement or as a question, which will engage a whole new conversation.
Talking about the weather is a bit too cliche, unless it’s so extreme that it’s noteworthy. Just try it and see where it goes. You can’t always know what to say since you don’t know the girl, and it can just as easily be a hit or a miss, so try to avoid very controversial topics.
Forget the smart phone
There’s little worse than constant interruptions from reading or sending text messages when you initially meet someone. It’s rude! If you want to keep a conversation going with a girl, you should put away the phone.
If you’re expecting a very important phone call, you should politely let her know about it in advance. Being courteous is vital in these delicate situations, and it will allow you to return to the conversation afterward.
Maintaining eye contact is also essential in any conversation. While this may be a difficult task, especially if you’re uncomfortable or shy, you should remind yourself that it’s polite and natural to do so. If you’re finding that it’s difficult, practice until it becomes natural to you. This skill can be learned through practicing with coworkers, family, friends, and even strangers.
Use every opportunity available to talk with people so that you can tweak your conversation skills. Eventually, you’ll be able to improve your eye contact in social situations, as it will get easier every time.
Knowing when and how to end a conversation
Just like starting a conversation requires skill, so does ending one. It’s important to pay attention to how the conversation is flowing, and whether it’s worth continuing. If you’re the only one making an effort, then perhaps it’s time to call it quits, and leave politely with some dignity. Even if it’s going well, there still comes a time that it has to end, to some degree.
You could suggest exchanging contact information and the possibility of meeting elsewhere on another day. It takes some nerve, but it will get easier each time. She may reject your offer, just as easily as she may accept it. There’s a small risk involved, but it will build your confidence.
So, are YOU able to keep a conversation going with a girl you just met? Share your own tips & tricks in the comment box below!