Confidence is a key factor in not just picking up women, but in your relationships with others, and most importantly, yourself. Being confident it one of the easiest things to change about yourself! Below you will find 9 simple “hacks” you can use to be more confident in yourself.
I recommend that you pick 2-3 and give them a try over the next week. You will find that some of these work better for you than others. Keep the ones that you like and discard the ones you don’t.
One of the easiest ways to hack your confidence is by improving your posture! Just by standing up straight, keeping your chin high and puffing out your chest, you will not only look more confident, but FEEL more confident. Studies have shown that by physically altering your posture, your body releases chemicals that will lead to you feeling more confident!
Your posture also emits the frequency of confidence to others around you. Other things you can practice is not fidgeting when you talk, keeping your hands out of your pockets (thumbs are okay) and stand up straight. Watch confident people in movies and in public and try to emulate what they are doing!
#2: Set “Bite-Size” Goals
If you want to be more confident in yourself, then you need to build trust in your ability to get shit done.
You need to prove to yourself that you can take action and accomplish your goals. And the best way to do this is to set small “bite-size” goals that you can accomplish in just a few weeks.
For example, rather than setting the large goal of “getting a new job”, set a smaller goal to “update your resume” or “apply to five different companies”. This way, you can quickly accomplish your goals, build trust in yourself, and create massive momentum in your life.
Right now, think of your #1 goal. How can you make this smaller? What is a realistic goal for the next week or 2? By making them smaller and starting to knock them off the list, you’ll start to get in a groove and build your confidence up.
#3: Identify Your Strengths
Everyone has insecurities. Event the tall, handsome, jacked guy in the corner.
Instead of focusing on them, lets focus on what makes YOU a badass! What do you do better than other people? What are you proud of? This could be your dead lift or the fact that you volunteer at the Children’s hospital. Whatever it is, make a list of it and review it in your head anytime your out or feeling insecure.
#4: Practice Facing Rejection
After surveying thousands of men, it’s clear that our #1 fear is failure and rejection.
We are afraid that we are going to fail to live up to the expectations of other people… and our own expectations… and it scares the crap out of us. This is normal, but if you let this fear stop you from going after what you want, then you will never reach your goals.
Instead, you must force yourself to face this fear on a daily basis. This is the only way to overcome it.
Try approaching women and giving them a genuine compliment or asking strangers for advice.
These “comfort zone challenges” will desensitize you to your fears and help you stop giving a fuck what other people think.
#5: Spend Time with People That Make You Better
Confidence is infectious. Do you surround yourself with other people that you are proud of, or are you ashamed to bring your friends around to the girl that your seeing? Having a cohort of friends that also have strong strength points (#3) can help you boost your confidence as well.
If you spend most of your time with lazy people who just want to get drunk and hang out, you will become equally mediocre. But if you spend time with motivated people who push you to get better, you will quickly gain momentum in your life.
If you want to build muscle and get fit, then hit the gym with your buddy who is jacked. If you want to get better with girls, then go out with your buddy who is naturally charming.
I’m not saying to destroy your old relationships, just to spend less time with people who hold you back.
#6: Get A Hobbie
Is your list from #3 short? Time to beef it up with a new hobby. If you want to be proud of yourself and the things that you do, its time to start building those skills.
You can’t spend all of your time inside your comfort zone and expect things to change.
One of the best ways to “switch things up” and expand your comfort zone is to experiment with new hobbies. You never know, you might find a hidden passion you never knew existed. Or you may even meet a new best-friend… or girlfriend.
It can be intimidating to start this journey, but EVERYONE starts in that same place. No true man will judge another for starting a hobby. Nothing better to do than to dig in and get after it!
A few of the hobbies that I recommend would be: cooking, weight-lifting, basketball, snowboarding/surfing, photography and dancing.
#7: Get Rid Of “The Voice Inside Your Head”
When your feeling unconfident, it usually doesn’t come from what others have said, it comes from that voice within your head! How crazy is that, that we are our own worst enemy then.
Tell that voice to shut up because 98% of the time, he’s wrong! But now your stuck inside of your head and starting to second guess yourself.
Whenever you start to hear “the voice” getting started, stop and focus on the sensations in your body. It could be your hands, your gut, or your feet. Eckerte Tolle has a great meditation on it, I highly recommend you check it out!
#8: Lift Weights
This should really be #1, #2 and #3. The quickest way to confidence is to look better, there is just no way around it. Looking better makes you feel better, there really isn’t much to it. Girls are more attracted to a less fat and more muscular body, its not science!
Additionally, like it or not, men subconsciously perceive muscular men as more confident and authoritative. This means other men will treat you better as well. On top of this, it will give you a whole lot of anti-aging benefits like increased bone density and stronger posture.
If you’re new to lifting, check out my article HERE.
The final confidence hack is a simple affirmation for yourself.
Affirmations are short statements that you repeat to yourself in order to boost your mood (and “hypnotize” yourself into actually believing it). The most effective affirmation I’ve ever tried is the “I love myself” affirmation…
Here’s how it works: stare at yourself in a mirror and say “I love myself” 5-10 times.
This sounds very basic, and maybe a little weird, but trust me it works. At first it may make you uncomfortable, but if you do it every day for a few weeks in a row, you will quickly start to feel true love for yourself as you repeat these words.
That’s all I got for today! Hit us with your confidence boosters!