Most guys know that approaching women is not nearly as easy as they make it look in the movies and on TV. Let’s face it – does any woman ever say no to James Bond? However, for the rest of us, wondering how to approach a woman without making a fool of ourselves is something that occupies us much of the time.
Like anything else, it takes practice to be successful at this and if you aren’t used to walking up to that great looking woman having a drink in the bar or working out at the gym, you may get a few rejections before you get a phone number. However, the following tips can help you to get more dates.
First thing is that you have got to believe in yourself and be self-confident. If you tell yourself you have no chance with that gorgeous girl at the next table, well, you probably don’t. However, there’s a fine line between being self confident and assured, and coming across as brash, arrogant and pushy – most women don’t like that.
Don’t forget to keep calm; the more nervous and agitated you are, the less likely the encounter will be a success. Watch for basic body language – a woman who likes you may smile at you, point her foot or leg in your direction, or play with her hair. If she makes eye contact with you, it can be a sure sign that she’s interested in you.
Remind yourself that you probably go up to complete strangers and talk to them several times a week, and this really is no different. Make a point of talking to her, listening to what she has to say and showing an interest in her – don’t just stare at her and ask for her number.
It may sound obvious, but it also helps if you are sharply dressed, your teeth are brushed, you’ve just shaved. You probably know that if you look good, you feel much better about yourself.
Be Careful What You Say
Unless you really have the confidence to deliver them, those corny lines don’t sound too good coming from most men. You know the ones – “You must be tired, as you were running through my mind all day.”
Try something more natural – if you are at a bar, offer to buy her a drink. If you’re at the gym, ask her about the equipment or make a comment about something relevant. If you’re at a crowded party, make a remark about it being noisy and crowded in there.
Most women acknowledge these conversational attempts and won’t think you’re being too forward or coming across as desperate. Asking a question such as what song is this playing, shouldn’t the train be here by now, or what time does the place close, is also a tried and tested way to engage someone in conversation.
Think Outside The Bars And Clubs
You may be instinctively thinking that bars and clubs are the only places to meet a potential date, and of course they can be the perfect place. However, they are also noisy, crowded and attract those pushy, predatory type of men which you are most certainly not. Not every woman drinking alone in a bar is looking to be picked up – she may just be enjoying a quiet drink. Try approaching women at a ball game, in a coffee bar, at the bookshop, in the park, while waiting for the train.
If you’re the bookish, intellectual type, rather than the sporty outdoorsy type, you may be more likely to meet someone compatible at he bookstore or library. If you see the same woman at the same time every day, it provides you with a great excuse to strike up a conversation.
Regardless of where you approach women, always approach her from the front or the side as women don’t generally like someone sneaking up on them or taking them by surprise. You should also think twice about approaching a woman in a deserted or dimly lit place – you don’t want her to think you might be a stalker or something worse.
As mentioned, approaching women successfully takes practice and if you feel you aren’t good at it, you just have to try it. Looking your best, being yourself and not coming across as desperate or arrogant will go a long way towards increasing your chances of success.
You also need to be realistic – not every woman will find you fascinating, just as you don’t fancy every woman you see. If she’s obviously not into you, bow out gracefully and try again.