You smiled. You flirted. You complimented her. Now it’s all paid off. Congratulations! You landed the all-important first date. Now comes the real work!
Dating can be difficult sometimes, no matter how much you like a particular girl. Not only are you eager to put your best foot forward, but you (hopefully) want to see her for a second date. It helps if you remember that first dates are stressful for everyone, and she is likely every bit as eager to make a good impression on you too.
If you are wondering exactly how to act on a first date with a girl, try following these simple rules, and you’ll hopefully get through the event feeling good about it at the end.
Normally, if you ask a girl on a date, it’s expected that you will have something special in mind planned out. You don’t have to orchestrate the whole evening from beginning to end (many girls are turned off by that anyway) but you do want to show that you have put some thought into it.
That means you should have a specific activity or restaurant in mind, while respecting any ideas or suggests she might have. Don’t ask her what she wants to do. Take charge and tell her what you guys are doing for the evening.
A guy who asks a girl on a date and then expects her to arrange everything is just going to come across as lazy. So make sure you have a game plan of what you two will be doing (i.e. make sure dinner reservations are in place or mini golf is booked) and be as organized as you can without going overboard.
This means you should be on time, dress appropriately, and have everything you’ll need for the date (such as money, a phone, and contingency plans!).
Remember Your Manners
To earn a second date, sometimes all it takes is a bit of courtesy and good manners. We all want to be treated with respect, and girls are no different. So, how do you show respect on the first date? Well, as mentioned, arriving on time is the first step. Always open the door for her, including the car door (many women view it as rude if a guy doesn’t open doors). I don’t go out of my way to do it, but if were walking through a doorway, she’ll appreciate the gesture.
When you drop her off at the end of the date, walk her to the door and make sure she is safely inside the house with the lights on before you drive away. Watch your language; using outdated terms can be a turn-off for some women. Avoid swearing and bad grammar, as this will not impress your date, either.
Let her talk; let her talk as much as she wants. While many men tend to be more forceful during conversations, it’s important to let your date speak and listen to her well. Ask her questions. Check out our posts on 101 questions to ask on the first date. If you aren’t really interested in listening to her, this could be a clue that maybe you shouldn’t be dating her.
Speaking of manners, there is a very important question that will undoubtedly come up on the first date: who should pay? This can be a tricky situation.
Many women don’t like it if the guy does not offer to pay first; after all, you did ask her out! Some women (especially the more liberal ones) are fine with splitting the bill. The easiest way to handle this is to simply pay the bill yourself. Don’t ask your date to contribute toward it. If she insists on paying half, then let her (otherwise she may think you are trying to “force” your money on her, and that can make very women feel vulnerable.)
Once you get to know her well, she can treat you on occasion. But for the first date, a man never expects the woman to pay. If we go out for ice cream after, or having another drink, ill playfully say, “you pay for the next one” as I’m paying for it.
Focus on Having Fun
Try to keep the tone of the evening relatively lighthearted. Don’t attempt to get into any deep or serious discussions with her on the first date; there’ll be plenty of time for that later on. You’re just trying to get to know each other better at this point, so steer clear of heavy topics that are likely to create a dark mood.
Many women like a guy who is serious, but no one wants to date a brooding dud! If you’re too intense, it may turn her off or make her think that you want to get too serious too fast. Don’t make the mistake of getting too familiar with her too quickly; remember, she’s not your mom or sister, so keep your behavior in check.
The focus of the date should be just having a good time and relaxing.
If she appears somewhat glum, don’t bombard her with questions like, “What’s wrong? Aren’t you having a good time? Why aren’t you smiling?” Relax and leave her alone! Actually, don’t EVER ask that. If she starts to look disinterested or bored, this should be a clue that maybe you aren’t focusing enough on her.
Ask her questions about herself and what she likes or dislikes.
Not questions like, “How many kids do you want to have?” but more like “Are you into any sports?” Or suggest a cool activity that you can try together. If she still doesn’t seem to come around after you’ve made a few attempts to engage her, it might be a good idea to wind the evening down early. Maybe she’s tired or doesn’t feel well. Or maybe she realizes that she isn’t that into you. Who knows?
Whatever the case, you should always be attentive to verbal and nonverbal cues that she’s giving off.
Don’t try to get too touchy feely on the first date; rather keep respectable boundaries between the two of you. If you do touch (such as holding hands) it should be affectionate and casual. A guy who is too forceful can be a big turnoff and you don’t want her to think you are only interested in one thing.
Follow the indicators of interest to pull the trigger on a kiss at the end of the night Don’t force the kiss, but if you guys are having a good time, don’t be afraid to go for it. Also, don’t wait until your dropping her off. Go for it at a red light on the way home!