In the past, men were often advised to court women, and shower the ladies with attention, affection, and gifts. While this approach may have been useful in the distant past, it is not valid in today’s dating world.
In fact, there are many reasons why giving attention backfires. Here’s some information to help you assess the way you interact with women.
Women Are Not Interested In Men Who Are Obsessed
When you are attracted to a certain woman, you may think lavishing her with attention will cause her to become interested in you. This is a huge mistake. Instead of leading to interest, it can completely turn her off.
Constant phone calls and texts, gifts, and other forms of attention can backfire. The woman you like will see it as a sign of obsession. Rather than being attracted to you, it is likely she will want nothing to do with you at all.
There are two common ways this approach can backfire. Depending on the woman, she may see you as too nice to take seriously, or she may think you are a stalker. Regardless of her reaction to your constant attention, it will not be the reaction you want.
Whether you have recently become interested in a new woman, or have begun dating, you should avoid showering her with attention. A man who appears obsessed is a man she will avoid.
Women Do Not Like Men Who Appear Needy
A second possibility is constant attention can make you appear needy. This is another characteristic that will be a turn off for today’s modern women. When you are looking for a date or a girlfriend, neediness is not a positive characteristic.
RELATED: How To Become Less Needy In A Relationship
Women can see neediness as a man looking for a substitute mother, or a man no other woman would want. As these traits do not describe you, you want to avoid giving women these impressions.
If you do not want women to think you are needy and desperate, you should not make a woman the center of your universe with constant attention.
Today’s Women Want An Equal
While any form of constant attention is negative, it can be worse when material items enter the picture. Frequent gifts can cause a woman to feel that you are trying to create a sense of obligation, or that you are simply showing off.
Women do not respond well to these feelings.
The woman you like will not appreciate feeling she is somehow obligated to you because you buy her gifts, nor will she appreciate feeling that you are trying to impress her by giving her expensive items.
A better approach is to not give the woman any gifts unless it reaches the point that you are in a committed relationship. There are too many women who have learned to second-guess a man’s motives, even if the man is only trying to be nice.
You Are At A Greater Risk Of Meeting The Wrong Women
Unfortunately, there are women who take advantage of men. Although they may be in the minority, there are too many who do exist. This is another reason why giving attention backfires.
The woman you shower attention with may be a gold-digger. Too much attention can place you in the position where you can be used. You surely do not want to invest your time, money, and emotions in a woman who is not genuinely interested in you.
A second possibility is meeting a woman who sees you as a status-symbol. Regardless of age, there are women who only want a man in their lives so they can brag about having a boyfriend.
Women who are immature place more emphasis on what you do for them and give to them than noticing you are a person.
A third possibility is a woman who is extremely insecure. Even if she is not a gold-digger, she will want more and more of your time, more and more of your attention, and more and more material items. No matter how much you give or what you do, it will never be enough.
This pattern can drain your energy as well as your resources.
Gold-diggers, immature women, and insecure women are all out there in the dating world. Not only can you be taken advantage of, you will end up resenting them for their behavior.
It is easier to avoid the wrong kind of woman than to deal with her after she is in your life. Simply remind yourself to not be so free with your attention, your time, and your other resources. When you do not lavish the wrong kind of woman with attention, she will instinctively avoid you.
You will then be able to focus on the type of woman you really want.
Withholding Attention Is Not A Game
If there is one trait modern women truly dislike, it is a man who plays games. In the distant past, women were often advised to “play hard to get,” with the belief that this would increase a man’s interest. Women today do not play this game, and do not like men who do it, either.
Refraining from showering her with attention is not playing a game. You are not pretending you are not interested when you actually are interested. You are not putting a woman in the position of guessing who you are, what you are, and what you want.
Instead, you are being yourself. You are looking out for your own best interests instead of trying to cater to a woman. While you are showing her that you would like to get to know her, you are also showing you are independent.
These are some of the most important reasons why giving attention backfires. Your dating life and new relationships can be so much better if you do not make these mistakes.
When you show yourself as the strong, independent man that you are, you will be a man who attracts many women. It will be much easier to attract the one you want.