New York City Dating is different. That’s the least you can say. Undoubtedly, NYC is THE Outsider US City within the USA. Vibrant, energetic and exciting, it is one of the best city to find a date but also one of the most difficult ones. Paradoxical, right?
Despite a large dating pool made of people from different horizons, the fast-pace life, the self-centeredness, the desire for independence, the drive to focus on a successful career… highly restrict the chances of commitment.
Now, here are a few general things to know and date by if you decide to settle in the Big Apple and take a bite of its dating odds.
What You Should Know?
Dating. YES but not exclusive!
Settling down is not easy out here. Indeed, New York is great for casual hookups or dating. New Yorkers like the freedom of dating and not being committed to one person.
(Did you know that NY was the hardest marrying state in the USA?!!)
Single women outnumber single men
Men have the power to decide if and when they want to take their relationship with their date to the next level. In some cases, if they are not satisfied with a date, they can dump her and go on to the next one without any remorse.
New York women are picky
It’s a proven fact NY single females are very selective and have high standards. Just like man, they play hard to get. Be ready to play along and match their standards (or prove them that it’s worth lowering their standards for you).
Fun facts. Recent studies have shown that Brooklyn women are the pickiest online daters in the USA (with the lowest response rates) and that the New Yorkers are the most demanding, when it comes to personals ads.
Online daters no longer wait
In this new era of dating apps like Tinder, Dapper…. Online daters meet quicker than ever. They no longer want to wait for weeks to get to know each other or go through the lengthy conversations, which will eventually sparking unexplainable feelings and nurturing the mystery of imagining the first date. Everything is done in the here and now. They want to make sure they are not wasting their time.
Long-distance dating has a whole other definition in NYC
Most NYers like to date within their borough. As a matter of fact, 25% of New Yorkers would not date outside their borough. Even if it’s just for a “30 minute-ride”, “long-distance dating” can be challenging for some city dwellers. Sometimes, when in the same borough, if the ride is too long or requires a transfer, they can seriously reconsider the date. There is a catch… Some will hop on the subway only if it’s worth it (depending on how good-looking and interesting the date is). To crown it all, boroughs stereotypes are deeply rooted in New Yorkers’ minds. That’s why, here, you are more likely to be defined by your neighborhood.
What You Should Do?
Multiply your chances
NY singles need to go out there, try online dating, bars & lounges, singles’ events, Whole Foods Stores…So, meet new people, make connections and practice your dating game. NYC is definitely the place to meet people randomly, even in the least expected places. Keep an open-mind!
Don’t wait around for a person you’re interested in to make the first step. There are 8 million people in NYC (half of which are unmarried); so if you see somebody that you like while exercising, shopping, partying… go for it. It can be you’re only chance at establishing contact and maybe find the love of your life.
Dating in the Big Apple is tough. You can actually go from being romantically involved with somebody to receiving a simple break-up text from that same person. They won’t see any issue not calling you back after a few dates without even giving you an explanation or a heads-up… The worsts are the ones who call you back weeks later like nothing happened, by simply saying “hey, how are you doing?”
Authenticity is key to succeeding at dating. It is also determinant for the foundation of a happy and strong relationship. So be yourself at all times, that’s when you’re the most confident. NYC is made of a mix of personalities, backgrounds, cultures, tastes… That’s what makes it so rich and so interesting. Accept your flaws and make positive improvements if you feel they will empower you.
Don’t pressure yourself
If you do, you’ll get frustrated and disappointed by the dating scene. So just enjoy the moment and the immense NYC dating pool. Meet and get to know fascinating and great NYC people (for most!). Don’t get attached too quickly too soon. There’s nothing wrong with being single. Au contraire, embrace singlehood like a time to appreciate every little moments of life and uplift yourself. The right one will eventually come along.
So now, are you ready to take on the challenges of dating in New York? The possibilities are endless. You just have to work at it. The harsh world of New York City dating isn’t an easy game to win. Play with its rules!
About The Author
This is a guest post by Elodie Herelle. Elodie is a dating blogger giving dating advice and options to NY singles. You can read her insights at www.NewYorkDatingLife.com.