Dirty talk doesn’t have to be just for the bedroom. It is great when you are flirting with a girl on your first date or two and want to escalate towards the end of the night. Don’t be afraid to take the risk and push things in a sexual direction. The difference with of coming off like a Christian Grey versus a creep is all in the confidence – this is advanced level stuff here.
Contrary to popular belief, the fear or hesitation around your sexual desires stem from your vocal tone, posture and eye contact and not your words. Therefore, it’s not so much about what you say but it’s more about delivery.
Certain words, topics and phrases will heighten the sexual energy. But only if you exhibit confidence and a sexual mindset based on confidence.
Women are all different and will respond to different things. Some prefer flirtation whereas others will prefer to simply get physical. The ideas in this article will not necessarily work for all women. The main point is to make a quick assessment and make adjustments where necessary. Adopt different approaches for different women.
1. Talk about your past sexual experiences
This is a great tactic as you are bringing up the topic of sex in an indirect way. It’s a safe bet and she can still enjoy fantasizing or thinking about it. The key is to ease her into it. “When was your last boyfriend? What do you look for in a guy? What are your biggest turn-ons?” Starting innocent, and slowly making your way into the good stuff. Now, Ask about the craziest place she’s had sex and then talk about yours. If your going to win at this conversation, have a good answer. Mine is, “In a car. Pause. Driving down the freeway doing 90 in the middle of the day”. Ask her if she’s ever had a three some? Pro tip – girls are always impressed by this. If you haven’t, it won’t be the biggest deal in the world if you say you have.
Another way to do it is by describing a fantasy that you’ve always wanted to have. Keep it casual by asking her about hers. Alternatively, you can talk about sex in a different context. Say from an academic point of view, like a scientific study on sex, or sexual practices in different cultures around the world.
The secret is to get into the details of the story. She will be creating mental pictures in her head and getting more excited as you tell the story. Take your time.
Unlike men, women are not as triggered by visuals. They tend to enjoy hearing about details such as how he intensely stared at her, the way he touched her hair, and what his hand felt like as he caressed her, throwing her on the bed, grabbing her ass etc.
If such details make you uncomfortable, you should probably work on your mindset and get comfortable with sexuality before carrying on.
2. Say direct vulgar or sexual things to her
This is easy. Hit on her in a direct sexual manner.
Once you’ve established mutual attraction and good rapport, you can push things to the next level and get more explicit. Don’t try this a couple of minutes after you have just met her unless you really know what you’re doing.
This is a perfect strategy for a date that is progressively getting more physical or the conversation getting more flirtatious.
You’re sitting with her under the dim bar lighting and your arms around her. Lean in and whisper “I love the way you bite your lower lip when you giggle, makes me want to bite it too.”
You can talk about what you intend to do to her without actually doing it. Like: “if we were alone, my hands would be all over you”
Other simple examples:
– “Your ass look sexy in that dress”
– “What’s your favorite position?”
-“Have you ever had a threesome?”
-“Where is the craziest place you have ever fucked?”
– “Do you get off on sucking dick? How much do you enjoy it?”
– “How often do you masturbate?”
The secret is to deliver it in the right way, a seductive tone of voice can be very arousing. At a more advanced level, whisper in a low voice the details of what you plan to do with her later. Whispering to her while you are still in public will drive the sexual tension through the roof.
3. Remember that everything is a working progress.
It’s a process of getting gradually more physical or more sexual.
If you start by saying vulgar/ sexual things as your initial approach, you are making a huge mistake. You have to pay close attention to detail. Establish what she’s comfortable with, what turns her off and respond accordingly. Start gently and ease into it. Timing and context of your words are what determine whether you are disrespectful and creepy or sexy and exciting. If she starts getting uncomfortable when you ask her about anything, back off and try again later.
All in all, the most important way to stimulate sexual excitement in her is with physical touch. If she is either uncomfortable or it is inappropriate to use physical touch, you can make use of verbal sexual conversation to make her wet with your words.
Fundamentally, it’s your physical touch that will get her excited: play with her hands, caress her, gently touch her cheeks and hair, kiss her neck, pull her into your body, make out with her and you will be surprised at how easy it is to get sexual with her.
I hope you’ve found this post useful. If you have any good tips, leave them below!!