Testing happens every day. It happens in your office, it happens at the bar, it happens with girls. This is an introduction to what I refer to as the “Shit Test”. It is a social device employed by women (and men) to determine the social fitness of a male in order to discern his worthiness. Think of it as their multiple choice exam in school – if you pass, you get the girl, if you fail, you get nothing. The shit tests is an important part of the pick up philosophy in your life. This is an introduction on what the are and we will briefly touch on how to respond to them. The next article will go more in depth on other examples and how to answer them. Read on, this will change your life, I Shit you not.
What Are Shit Tests & What Purpose Do They Serve?
Why are they called shit tests? Well when somebody “gives you shit” and fucks with your= to see how you will react. After you finish this article you will notice them EVERYWHERE! Everyone has been shit tested, gets shit tested and will continue to be shit tested. The underlying mechanism of shit tests is to test your social aptitude / social value.
In other words, Shit Tests are used to “determine your frame.” Frame is a concept which essentially means “composure and self-control.” If you need a visual metaphor, imagine you are a work of art on a gallery wall. You are kept straight and presentable by the frame you are kept in. If the frame was taken away, your picture would fold and you would fall to the floor. In the physical sense of the metaphor, your canvas folds, and you, the picture, fall to the floor bent out of shape. Psychologically and symbolically, folding means you have “lost control and given up” in the way that a player folds when they surrender in a game of poker.
Shit tests don’t always have to be questions, they can be blanket assertions that are accusatory or provocative in nature. Such assertions are designed to elicit an emotional response from you, pushing you into a state of reactivity and causing you to reveal information about yourself. When you react, it will say something about yourself and that is your answer to the Shit Test.
Shit tests can be blatant or they can be covert, how they are presented depends upon the intent and personality of the individual employing the test. The sum potential combination of differing shit test scenarios is so vast that I cannot possibly give an example of each and every possible outcome in this article. Therefore I shall instead equip you with the knowledge necessary to refine your own skills so that you can ace all of the shit tests!
How To Pass A Shit Test
If you can keep composure/seem unfazed and/or assert your boundaries despite a shit test, generally speaking you will be considered to have passed the shit test. If you get upset, offended, doubt yourself or show weakness in any discernible way when shit tested, it will be generally considered that you failed the test.
Your morals, views, and opinions are rocks that you believe in and hold true to yourself. They will not bend in the wind because of something someone says. You wouldn’t let it pass “Just this one time”. It is something that you hold true to yourself, no matter what. People will respect that, even if they don’t agree with the answer.
If it’s a verbal shit test, think witty! If your witty, you will have a lot of fun with shit tests. Men with subpar wit and verbal skills tend to struggle with shit tests. As an aside to men who fall into this category, I suggest you watch more stand-up comedy to develop your wit and speak more with people to improve your conversational ability. If you get good at “speaking shit” which is essentially freestyle improvisational conversation based upon nothing more than word association, observation and mockery; you will find passing shit tests to be not only easy, but likewise immensely enjoyable.
Shit tests come in all shapes and forms, so lets hop right into some examples so you can get a better feel of how to respond.
Some Examples of Shit Tests and How To Respond
I’ll give you an example of a common shit test women use, for the sake of the example let’s pretend your name is John: “Haha I bet your a player!” It will sound like a complaint, but it isn’t, it’s a shit test and she wants to see how you respond to her bullshit. She is spouting nonsense just to incite a response and determine your level of confidence. What you say along with how you say it, will determine if you pass or not.
Strong response: “Sounds like you’ve got an eye for talent.” Said with strong eye contact and an un-shifting stance. Shit test passed.
Weak response: “No! I’m a good guy!” and then how “you’re not like that” eyes widening, palms are sweaty, wishing you were at home. Shit test failed
I will make a point of saying here that whilst women will deliberately and consciously shit test you, much of it is entirely subconscious. They do it, but they’re not aware why or even when they do it for the most part. Women who read this blog are probably not indicative of that assessment, as naturally my literature will have elevated their self-awareness beyond that of the average female.
3b.) Examples: Standard Shit Tests Women Use:
– “Aww, are you upset?!” – Translation: Are you a beta? Ignore it or agree and amplify. “Yeah I’m going to go home and watch Titanic now.” Say it with a smile like it doesn’t bother you! Wit and laughter is key here.
– “You’re such a player aren’t you?!” – “Maybe, come find out” or agree and amplify “you don’t know the half of it.”
– “Buy me a drink!!” – The correct response: “No, you buy me a drink.” You communicate you’re more valuable than she is.
– “I have a boyfriend!” – “What boyfriend, your imaginary one?” – Then laugh in her face. I have an entire article on this here!
– “How many girls have you slept with?” – “What, today? Not many.” – “Pick a number, any number.”
– “Do you have a girlfriend?” – Ways to pass this test: “she told me not to tell anyone” – “We’re not Facebook official” – “I don’t cuddle her after sex, so no?”
– “Hold my bag for me!” or “Will you go and get me a coffee?” – Some variation of “No” or “Hold/get it yourself” does well. Sneer whilst you say it for bonus points.
As you may have noticed from the repertoire of woman’s bog standard run-of-the-mill shit tests, they are incredibly fixated on discerning whether or not you are a beta (guy who doesn’t get laid much, if at all.) If in doubt, err towards being an asshole – but mix it with fun and wit (that’s how guys get away with being assholes!). Think James Bond Whitty versus the nice guy in the romantic comedy.
A lot of material here, but as you continue on, you will begin to see these shit tests everywhere! Begin to identify them and work on your responses! Our next article will be a ton of examples and how to respond to them! Stay tuned and let us know what you think in the comments below!