Getting dumped can be a confusing experience where a part of you feels relieved that you are no longer in a relationship filled with anger, emotional outbursts, and recriminations even as another part wants you to move on to steps to getting your ex girlfriend back.
This is why guys do the funniest and weirdest things after getting dumped.
Some resort to the good ol’ get-her-out-of-your-life strategies like unfriending her on FB, deleting all her mails, and, burning photographs; although the last option is preferred only by the over-sensitive types if you know what I mean.
Other pretend they never got dumped and go around behaving as if they were in charge at all times.
If you have done all this and still find yourself thinking about how to get your ex back, then you probably need to read my seven-point strategy that, if followed properly, should help you win her back in no time at all.
Yet, let me warn you—it is not easy and it certainly won’t work if wanting her back is merely an ego thing for you. So, let’s begin.
Point 1: Do You Really Want Her Back? Why?
Before we move to how to get your ex back, let us understand why you want your ex back. You got dumped. Before it ended, the relationship had probably gone sour with numerous fights and tiffs. Yet, you want her back… why?
Is it just because you want something or somebody that you can’t have? Or has your girlfriend become a part of your daily routine and you just want to return to the predictability of being in a romantic relationship?
Or, is it just that you feel lonely and think steps to getting your ex girlfriend back will resolve your loneliness?
Deciding to rekindle your love affair and taking steps to win her back is not a small decision. Try it for the wrong reasons and you are surely going to face even more hurt when she dumps you again.
Do a bit of online research, mix it up with introspection and advice from friends, and make sure you know exactly why you want her back before moving ahead.
Point 2: Accept the New Reality
Many guys err by thinking that simply wanting their ex back is enough. Nope, it’s not. You are deluding yourself by thinking that merely talking to her for a few minutes will do the trick. If a few soothing words would have been enough, then you wouldn’t have been dumped in the first place.
Also, it is time you realize that she doesn’t want to get back with you. Why else would you be reading about steps to getting your ex girlfriend back? The truth hurts but lying to yourself is going to hurt even more.
So, it’s time to accept the new reality that you have been dumped and that you are the only one interested in restarting the relationship. This will help you understand that you will have to sweep her off her feet with a whole new you.
Perceptions and impressions don’t change quickly and that is exactly what you are aiming for.
Point 3: Step Away and Create Some Space
You don’t want to stalk/harass/tire/force her into hooking up with you, right? It’s time to take a step back and let time do its trick. Your ex is probably filled with negative thoughts
Harassing her and will only cause her to relive the worst parts of the relationship and get worked up all over again.
Instead, just move away to help her forget the bitterness of the breakup. She won’t forget everything but she certainly won’t breathe fire at the mere sight of your face or sound of your name. Only then can you make your next move in the ‘how to get your ex back’ strategy.
Point 4: The Toughest Challenge—Change
You know what’s the toughest part about trying to win your ex back—accepting that you probably deserved to get dumped. And there is no way she is getting back with you unless you change and become the guy she fell in love with.
What if you don’t know the exact reasons why she broke up? It doesn’t really matter because you are merely trying to become better than what you were. In fact, it is better to stay away from reasons because attraction does not work in a logical manner.
You might have noticed that you rarely find mistakes in somebody you like. Conversely, somebody you don’t like never does anything right. Reasons are often invented to justify your attraction or lack of it. So, don’t focus too much on the reasons.
Instead, understand that asking your ex to get back to the same person she dumped is probably not going to work. You need to give her the impression that she is going to hook back with a new and improved you.
The fact that you took up so much effort to change is also going to work in your favor. So, stop pretending that you are perfect and start analyzing how and to what extent you need to change.
Point 5: Don’t Change for Just One Woman
Of all the steps to getting your ex girlfriend back, this one is where most guys make big blunders. Don’t try to become the perfect man for your ex. You will find yourself become a doormat with no spine. Instead of asking whether your ex will like you again, focus on becoming somebody all women will like.
Become more attractive for women in general and you are likely to find it easier to win back your ex. Wondering why? There are three factors involved here.
Firstly, relationships are often about power and a man trying to win back his ex is always going to come across as the weaker party. And this can be a huge turn off for your ex girlfriend. She is going to think that you cannot get anybody better than here and that is not the recipe for a healthy relationship.
Becoming attractive for women in general will give you the confidence to be strong. You want your ex back but you are not going to beg or grovel because you know you can always move on to somebody better.
This can result in subtle changes in your body language and mannerisms that will go a long way in improving your chances of succeeding.
Secondly, jealousy is a very powerful motivator for women. Your ex girlfriend is likely to notice that you have become a lot more attractive for other women. And that will get her competitive juices running. This is called pre-selection and is hardwired into our minds.
Thirdly, widening your field will serve as a safety net in the event things don’t work out. Focus only and your ex and you are likely to feel like a loser if you fail. Try to become better with women in general and you can always move on and search for somebody better.
Also, it is a great way to test your desire to get back with your ex.
Do you still want her back now that women tend to flirt more with you? If yes, then that tells you something, right? If no, then that too is a useful factor to consider.
Point 6: Get Back in Touch
Now, it’s time to show off the new you. Find a cool and natural reason to meet her. Something like visiting her favorite ice cream parlor or her preferred hangout location. Or, it can be a text message related to her stuff that you still have.
If she has not moved on from you, then chances are high that you will receive a positive reply. And then, it’s probably time to work your magic again. If not, then you can always move on too.
Point 7: Don’t Commit Your Old Mistakes
A girl may go out with a guy whom she has dumped in the past. However, she is not likely to encourage a guy who she has dumped twice. So, while it is important to be natural around her, make sure you don’t commit your old mistakes all over again.
These simple seven steps to getting your ex girlfriend back can help you repair the damage that your relationship has suffered. Of course, you will become better with women in general when trying to learn how to get your ex back.
The steps will help you analyze the intensity of your desire, improve yourself, gain more experience, and approach the relationship with a lot more intensity. At the same time, you need not fear the consequences of what will happen if things don’t work out.
Knowing how to get your ex back can easily help you find a new girlfriend if you end up deciding that it is time to move on to something better in life.