There are more rules to dating than most men realize. It is much more than flirting, planning the perfect first date, and executing the date perfectly. Just meeting a woman consists of a great deal of rules. You may go up to a woman, and before you even say a word, she might reject you, and you have no idea why.
You may look great, smell great, and she is still paying you no attention. At first, you may think that it is her issue. Maybe she’s shy, maybe she has a boyfriend, and maybe she just isn’t interested in meeting anyone. While you believe that it is her, chances are it is you.
It is not the way that you look, or the way that you are dressed, it is the way that you are approaching her. There are three reasons she will reject you before you can say one word to her, regardless of how good you look and how smooth you may think that you are.
Hesitation is one of the biggest reasons that a woman will reject you before you have a chance to speak. Beautiful women have a much lower tolerance than a woman who is not as attractive. Beautiful women will look for that one reason to reject you, rather than looking for one reason to give you a chance. When you see a woman that you are interested in, and you hesitate, it will turn her off immediately. When you hesitate, it tells her that you lack confidence and self esteem. It also tells her that you are self conscious. These are qualities that turn a woman off.
There are a few types of hesitation. You could walk up to a girl, and then stall for a few minutes, before finally speaking to her. You could also hover around her, and linger until you get the nerve to say anything. If you do this long enough, she will notice, and be turned off before you can even speak to her. If you hesitate long enough, another guy can swoop in with a great pickup line, leaving you with nothing to do but stand there and watch, and regret hesitating. It only takes a few seconds for another guy to make his move. The man who does not hesitate, has the best chance of getting the girl.
When you see a woman that you are interested in, you should walk right over to her, with confidence. Start a conversation immediately. Let her know right away that you are interested. This will show her that you are confident, and you will prevent other men ruining your chance.
Indirect Openers Following Eye Contact
When you see a pretty woman across the bar, and you want to meet her, make eye contact. It is a great way to see if she may be interested. If she makes eye contact back, you have a good chance. If she gives you a little smile, your chances are even better. When you get the green light from her, you should go over and talk to her. What you may not know, is that the opening line is very important, and since you have already had the eye contact, the opening line rules have changed. Because the eye contact was technically your opener with the girl, you should not make your opening line, an indirect one.
Your opening line should be something tailored to make her feel comfortable, something smooth, and something that will bridge the gap from the eye contact across the room. When there was no eye contact, an indirect opening line works.
After you have made the initial eye contact, and you are making your way over to her, make your opening line count. Avoid comments about how beautiful she looks, you just spent two minutes staring at her, and made your way over to her, therefore, she knows that you think that she is pretty. Something as simple as asking her name and introducing yourself will work much better. Silly lines like, “do you come here often”, will not work.
Approaching Her From Behind
Approaching a woman from behind is one of the biggest mistakes that you can make. When a woman is attacked or mugged, it is often from behind. You do not want her to feel threatened when you approach her. It does not make for a good first impression. You also want to avoid startling her, especially if she has a drink in her hand. If she does, and you come up from behind and scare her, she could end up spilling her drink all over herself. This can pretty much ruin any chance that you may have with her.
Most women will be annoyed by that point. Also, when you approach a woman from behind, she does not have time to really get a look at you, and process your presence. When you walk over to her from across the room, it gives her a chance to look at you, before you get to her. This will make her more willing to engage you in conversation,. When you come up behind her, she is too busy focusing on her racing heart due to being startled, and no time to focus on who is actually trying to speak to her. The walk across the room, and the eye contact that you make, is the best way to break the ice before you even begin talking.
If you cannot find any other way to get to her, if she is sitting at a crowded bar, for instance, tap her on the side of the shoulder, from an arm’s length away. This will make her feel less threatened when you approach her.
You may think that you have the looks, the moves, and the lines, and you may. If you do not approach her properly, however, everything that you have to offer will go right out the window, and you will have missed out on your one chance.