The world is a busy place and most people invariably find quality time for their personal wants and needs. If you’re one such busy person keen to spice up your love life, speed dating is your life jacket. Speed dating is a dating method where you meet and interact with several new people within a matter of hours.
Speed dating is a relatively new phenomena and therefore it’s prone to several interpretations and myths. Those who’ve played this dating game before vouch by it and recommend newbies to take the plunge.
The dating format basically entails meeting multiple people within a short time span – say meeting 15-20 individuals within a couple of hours. Since a speed dating venue is likely to house many participants, the format is also a wonderful way to socialize.
Whether you’re looking for a casual fling or a serious relationship, speed dating gets you on the right track. However, how far you go making use of this opportunity depends on your innate skills and practical approach.
The following speed dating tips and tricks should come in handy if you’d like to explore the option:
Speed dating is a growing trend and several companies organize these dating events. However, operations across companies may vary. Before picking an event, learn more about the event and what you can possibly expect, so that you don’t end up a misfit.
Know more about local speed dating events. Understand the kind of events being hosted and also consider variables such as participant age groups, niche themes, etc. If available resources don’t clear all your doubts, get in touch with the event host. The interaction could possibly offer you some valuable insider information.
Speed dating does revolve around groups and is summed up within hours, but that doesn’t mean you can afford to dress shabbily. Remember, this is nothing dramatically different from traditional dating. Therefore, dressing up is key to make the right first impressions.
The clothes need not be expensive, but they must make you feel confident and beautiful. This confidence will likely make you more attractive in the eyes of other participants.
Be Well Ahead of Time
Don’t be late for the event. Reach the venue several minutes before the start time. This means you’ll have sufficient time to register for the event, and also get to know the place better. This is also the right time to put forward some last-minute queries to the event manager or host.
Getting familiar with the event host is crucial to your chances of finding the right person at the event. If the host gets accustomed to your personality, he/she may hook you up with the right people or perhaps set you up a pre-event meeting with a few participants.
You’ll meet with or have a dating encounter with several people in a single day. Don’t trivialize the abundant opportunities and give each interaction the right attention and respect it deserves.
In other words, if you’re first speed date wasn’t a pleasant one, do not let the bitterness reflect in your second or subsequent meetings. Don’t get bogged down by disappointments and go with a fresh approach for every single encounter.
Take Note of Probable Matches
If you like someone or believe there’s some potential to explore in a particular individual, note down the person’s name and other relevant information on the match card provided. Based on the organizer, you’ll be emailed your potential matches in a matter of hours.
Enjoy the Moment
This is no job interview or personality test. Be serious in your intent but adopt a casual approach. Don’t feel pressurized. Have an open mind and do not take failure too seriously.
If you are too serious, you could look desperate. It’s important to have a smile on your face right throughout the short session. Don’t try too hard to cast your best impression. You could also tease the person, but make sure it’s done in a playful and not insulting manner.
Don’t Make Things Awkward
Don’t be too curious about whether your date will check-mark the ‘yes’ option in the match card. Again, this may seem you’re trying a bit too hard – not to mention the awkwardness your date will experience. Remain patient and wait for the results to be communicated by the event host.
Also, refrain from discussing past relationships.
You’re likely to meet many people during the event. It’s therefore recommended to take notes, for your brain cannot possibly remember every detail. The notes should help you recall specific things you liked about the participant.
Take notes after every short dating session; don’t do it in front of your potential match. She could feel uncomfortable and may get the notion that she is being judged on everything. Do the scribbling en-route to the next table.
If you think you’ve struck a chord with a particular individual, you may stay after the event to catch up from where you left, provided you are sure about the other person’s interest in you. Long chats during the evening will help make a stronger bond and which may graduate to a more personal, longer future date.
Post the event, you’ll invariably have the email sent across within a day. Note down the matches and contact them instantly and set up a casual dessert or quick drink meet up. Remember, you are not the only one to contact your match. She may receive similar proposals from other event participants too.
Therefore, don’t delay and also don’t feel bad if the reply doesn’t come through quickly. She is perhaps sifting through her messages. If there’s no reply after a few days, she’s probably not interested. Don’t lose heart and move on.
Don’t Ask the Same Old Questions
If you’d like to stand out from other speed daters, ask more interesting questions. You need not necessarily resort to lateral thinking or come up with eccentric queries, but it’s important you don’t stick to the clichés.
Ask questions that don’t stray away too much from the norm, but also elicit an eager and interesting response.
The goal is to churn out a memorable interaction. When the woman is done with all the speed dating participants, her dating experience with you should stand out.
Also, keep in mind there isn’t much time available.
You’ll typically get 5 to 7 minutes per date, so this is not the right time to strike a detailed conversation. Make good use of the available time and ensure your personality shows through.
Speed Dating Questions
A substantial part of your dating conversation will revolve around questions and getting to know each other. It’s therefore important you ask the right questions. Your questions should be meaningful, but not intrusive to put her off.
If you’re not sure where to draw the line and what questions to put forward, simply take your pick from the following:
• How long you’ve been living in this city/town?
This is a great question to break the ice without being predictable. If she has lived all her life in the particular place, she’ll be too excited to talk about it. And if she has recently moved in from another location, you may derive some fresh perspectives.
• What is that one thing you would like to know about me?
This will give the lady an opportunity to know you better. It also indirectly indicates that you’re receptive and open to any form of self-scrutiny. And since there’s only one question to ask, she won’t waste it on a generic or boring topic. This may also work as an ice-breaker and open up the floor for both of you.
• What are your expectations from a relationship?
You may ask this question if you don’t want to get too fancy and come straight to the point. The response will help you gauge what’s going through in her mind and whether you can live up to or are in agreement with her expectations. Simply put, it will help you determine whether you can be her ideal boyfriend/spouse.
Also, putting forward such a direct question indicates you’re committed to the outcome.
• Ask questions relating to marriage and lifelong commitments.
For instance, you may put forward questions about marriage and her opinion on kids and raising them. If both of you are single and you’re intention is a lifelong partnership, find out if she’s keen on a marriage. If not, you know you are wasting your time.
If the lady shares your marriage-related thoughts, then use the opportunity to know more about her take on raising children.
• What are your hobbies or what do you do when you’re not working?
This may sound typical, but should help reveal the other person’s skills and preferences. It will help you find out whether she is an introvert or an outdoorsy person. If you love reading books and prefer silent confines, an adventurous girl is something you don’t want.
You may also find out her interest in music, sports, politics, etc. if any.
• How important is religion to you?
If you’re planning to marry the person or living together before marriage, some level of accord in matters relating to religion community, society, and spirituality will ensure zero day-to-day friction.
• What makes you feel proud the most?
This should help open up the inner values of the person – her inclinations and things she cherishes the most. The answer will probably reveal what moves the person the most: money, intellectual pursuits, personal relationships, etc.
• Do you love pets or have one at home?
You may be a dog lover and she could have her “pet peeves”. If you own a mini zoo at home, it’s important your partner doesn’t mind animal company. If both of you love pets, then the match can’t get any better.
• Tell me one embarrassing incident you would never want to tell anyone.
This is a funny question and also indicates how quickly you’ve come close. Ask this question only if you can feel the bond. Needless to say, this would make up for an awkward introductory question. So reserve this question for the ending moments.
• If you could have one superpower trait, what would it be and how would you use it?
This is another funny but imaginative question that may exhibit how thoughtful and capable the person is when she’s got the resources she needs. This also talks about how responsible she can possibly be when the situation arises.
The above set of questions may not be the most interesting or exciting queries to put forward. But if your motive is to know the person as much as possible, there’s no getting around these queries.
If getting accustomed to each other is not your priority during the first meet and you’re more inclined towards a fun and jovial time, you may get a bit more creative.
You are free to ask many different questions, but you’ll probably not have the time to put forward all questions. It’s therefore important to filter your list of questions and only pick those that you feel are important.
Regardless of how you take forward the interaction, it’s important to stay confident throughout the process. A stupid question may not cause too much embarrassment if it’s put forward confidently.
The key here is not to fumble. If you don’t remember your predetermined questions, you may still talk about any random topic that hits your head.
Don’t get too personal. It’s most likely not the right time or perhaps you’d not generate honest responses. For instance, don’t question about past relationships or probe her in any other manner.
Though such questions could help open up the interaction, some women may not be comfortable discussing the same with a stranger or during their first meeting and that may derail them or make them lose interest in the conversation.
Also stay away from controversial topics, such as human rights, gay community problems, etc. These topics are way too serious to be discussed over on a date.